I’ve gotten sick again. I’ve reached that point where I don’t want to blog about being sick, so I just don’t blog at all. This time, though, something amazing happened. After spending about two days in bed (or on the couch) with my feet up and my husband running interference between me and the kids, I finally calmed down, got hydrated, and rested. By the end of the second day, I noticed something: I could see wrinkles on my fingers. Wrinkles!
For those of you without RA, here’s what that means: no visible swelling AT ALL. Not even the tiniest bit. I don’t swell a lot, ya’ll. Most people do not even notice it. I do, though. I can feel it from the inside & out. I see it there every day, each and every finger a little wrinkle-free sausage. On the bad days my fingers are huge, but regular day-to-day swelling is just bigger fingers without wrinkles.
So after checking out my fingers, I looked down at my ankles. There they were, pointy little v’s sticking out on either side of my leg. V’s. Not giant blobs of swolleness. My mom likes to compare my swollen ankles to hers in that bad sort of way. My swollen ankles look like regular ankles to her, but if she could see mine right now, how tiny and almost scared-looking (I feel bad for them – those little things are holding up all this weight up here?! Poor things.)
Next I moved on to my knees. You can see them. They’re not just the place where bending happens, they’re knees, with bones and stuff.
Then my feet. They are less thick. You know how little kids feet are sometimes chunky through the middle portion; mine are like that most days when the swelling isn’t bad. Today I can hold them and feel how tiny they are. I can put on a certain pair of shoes that never fit these days and they feel even a bit loose.
Seriously, people, I haven’t been this excited about anything in a long, long time. I rubbed and rubbed all those skinny little swelling-free places until my husband started thinking I’d lost my mind. And did little dances. And sang little songs. It was ridiculous how happy that made me. It has been so long since I’ve seen my joints regular sized that I photographed them all and made a little album. I’m thinking about taking copies to my doctor, just for his reference.
The weird thing is that swelling-free does not equal pain-free. My ankles still hurt and so do my shoulders and the left side of my jaw. One of my fingers remained swollen, as did one of my elbows (they both hurt, too).
I don’t know what’s happening here, but it is SO GOOD. 🙂
Edited to add:
Here’s a link to the photo set I made of both non-swollen days, generically swollen days, and some of a bit more swollen kinds of days. Feet, ankles, knees, hands, & elbows (but the elbow ones are bad – I should get my husband to take those).