This. Yes. That whole part about depression striking whenever and wherever and the grief of losing the life you had before the disease. I have been struggling with this lately myself.
I went in to see a new neurologist today. I picked up my scans, carried in my paperwork, sat in the crowded office, and surprise, surprise got called back at my appointed time.
The nurse came in and we chatted about how much we love our rheumatologist (we go to the same one) and what we’re taking to help us with our RA. Then the doctor came in. She’s young, pregnant, and very focused. She spent nearly 45 minutes with me, more time than anyone else ever. First she told me that my MRI was “stone cold normal.”
She asked loads of good questions about my symptoms, not just when did they start, but how long each specific one lasted, what order they came in, etc. She asked which drug I was taking when these various things happened. I’d brought my Giant Notebook of Health,
which made her very happy, and my Bag o’ Drugs (which she’d requested and apparently rarely do people follow that instruction).
She was also glad that I took notes and was open to taking supplements as a course of gentle action in the next few weeks while we do other testing to rule out a couple things. I also have a calendar of symptoms to fill out (I find the chart code hysterical; I got to make it up). The next batch of testing: another CT scan, this time of the blood vessels in my brain, and an Evoked Potential test, which tests the eye/brain connection. What they’re ruling out I don’t quite know, but she has one big theory and a couple smaller ones to test out. I’ll see the doctor again in about 2 months, by which time I should have finished the testing, gotten all the results back, and had some time to put data in her calendar chart.